Must I paint you a picture?

Lately I've really had to plan my life around taking meds and being really careful about what I eat and don't eat. All part of the process of recovering from anemia. It's also a gradual start to rethinking how I live to deal with an underlying condition I've been diagnosed for a while.

It gets depressing as hell sometimes. And I will be very glad if I never have to walk into a hospital/drs office in the next year or so.

I was getting my medical for the states sorted and my mum said she had lost my baby immunization book. So we had no proof of my shots. The doctor said I would have to get quite a few shots again. Including the polio one I think.

Geez man...if I'm 21 and have no signs of developing polio thus far what are the odds right? I was really pissed at my mum...specially since she had my brother's baby book.

Maybe a bit unfair since she probably wasn't expecting that to come in handy 20 years later. But I didn't really want to get anything more jabbed into me.

Things are looking up though! She found the baby book. Due to my guilt tripping about her being a negligent mother who loved my brother more (I know, I'm going to hell) she went through her records a third time.

She finally found it. So I can skip the unnecessary shots. Yay!

So even though it feels like I'm swimming upstream sometimes I have to remember it's not all bad. It could be worse.

And something I didn't know I wanted is just around the corner waiting to make me happy. I just know it.

Now I just have to believe that for a while.

How was your Monday?

So...you know that whole anemia thing? It went from bad to worse. I ended up in the hospital.

I wasn't feeling very good on Monday and went in to get a blood test to see what my hemoglobin levels were. The lab called my doctor urgently at 4 to tell her they were at dangerously low levels. So she called the house to say I needed to get to the hospital asap.

It was very dramatic. My mother drove me into the emergency section of Assunta and they wheeled me into the ICU in a wheelchair. I would've laughed but I didn't have the energy, which made me realize for the first time that this was probably serious.

They had to take another blood sample. I was dreading this bit because no one can find my veins properly. So the nurse was prodding about before she called another nurse to come play stick the needle in something that is not a vein with me.

Everyone agreed that I needed a blood transfusion at about 4 in the evening. So when did I get the blood transfusion? 5 hours later. Brilliant.

My poor mummy I think she was really freaked out. I don't think you ever want your kids to be in pain or have a hospital stay. I told her I'd be ok for her to go home and I could handle staying in the hospital on my own.

She said no and I'm glad she stayed. It would have been one long night without her. It could've been a sleepover, we talked a lot during the night since I couldn't really sleep during the transfusion. I couldn't sleep because the nurses kept coming in every hour to check my temperature and blood pressure.

I had two units of B+ plugged into me. Despite the initial difficulty of getting the needle into my hand it went pretty quickly. I was so glad to get that needle out of my hand man. You have no idea.

I got out of the hospital the next day with strict orders not to overexert myself. Eat lots of food with iron and rest. I hate this. I hardly ever get sick so it sucks to feel not 100% myself.

Sigh...

Just when I got my car back. I have to sit at home and rest. FTW.

Oh...and I'm sure that y'all are gonna wanna know how I lost all that blood. My dad told John Joseph who came to visit me that I got knocked down by a car. Poor dude. I had to tell him the truth, him and practically all my guy friends the truth.

Which is that I had a heavy period. That is how I lost more than half the blood that's supposed to be in my body. For serious. I'm embarrassed too. Further proof, in my opinion, that God is not a woman.

But I'm ok now. Though I wish some of you could've come with Rachel to visit me and keep me company while I waited for the blood to come. Or brought me a DVD player...the TV in the hospital is just awful I tell you. Like 4 Chinese channels, one Indian channel, 8tv, some Malay channels (including some super melodramatic Indonesian shows), and one channel that played really, really bad English movies.

The food wasn't too bad though. I'm all about the silver linings.

I'm Anemic Royalty

So apparently I am anemic right now...due to blood loss. No I didn't try to slit my wrists over the weekend. Have not been involved in a car accident. Do not have a vampire boyfriend...though if True Blood is anything to go by that would be awesome.

I'm feeling very sorry for myself. As someone who does not get sick very often it sucks ass to feel weak and headachey. I get winded walking fast...not cool at all.

Here are the Pros and Cons of Anemia According to Me

Pros

I finally get to live out my Victorian fantasy of wasting away and looking pale

I'm pale...apparently this is mistaken for fair in Asia. Fair=Pretty. Yay.

Cons

No energy to do anything but lie in bed.

I'm so pale that my lips are white.

Headaches.

Conclusion? Anemia=bad. The Victorian fantasy is only worth living out if there is a concerned young gentleman who comes to call on you in hopes his very presence will spur you into recovering so that you might consummate your passionate but chaste love affair.

I have no gentleman on hand. Victorian or otherwise. Feel free to feel sorry for me.

Love you all.